


Dirty Little Secret

by MewMewMadness



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, Have you ever heard of anxious Ancap? Exactly, I am not gonna write the sex tho :), M/M, Some bittersweet shit, What other tags do I put, implied sex, the author is gay and dumb and hasn’t written in years, they are basically canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24709537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MewMewMadness/pseuds/MewMewMadness
Summary: In which Ancap, after a few drinks, is anxious to reveal a large secret to his new boyfriend.(Note: this fic does not share any connection to Dirty Little Secret by All-American Rejects)
Relationships: Libcap, Libertarian/Ancap, Money Husbands - Relationship
Comments: 31
Kudos: 79





	Dirty Little Secret

The bright shades of yellow beamed proudly, reflecting on the man's face. His beloved tie collection was neat and orderly, sorted in a gradient from darkest to lightest. He traced his fingers over each one, feeling the rough fibers, the smooth satin, the Virgin wool, the Chad silk.

_Heh. Chad silk. Good one._ Ancap chuckled lightly, picking a cream colored tie with embroidered golden cherry blossoms. Of course it had to be one of the most expensive ones he owned, he needed to look sharp, polished, shit, all he knew was that he needed to look his best for his boyfriend. This would be the date he’d have a few drinks with him, then build up the courage to tell him that… secret. 

He wondered what it would be like, would it be a huge weight off his shoulders? Would it be awkward? Would he chicken out? Would his boyfriend.. hate him? Leave him? 

_No. Stop. Breathe._ His heart rate quickened still. Ancap was desperate to think of something else. Right. He’d only picked his tie. Normally, he would have one of his staff pick his clothing, but this? This was different. He searched for a shirt that complimented the tie, his mind racing, nitpicking at him. 

A sharp knock broke him out of his thoughts. 

“Sir? Are you finished?” 

“Soon. And if I haven’t already, will you push all my meetings to Tuesday?”

“Sir… it _is_ Tuesday.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Fine… push it to Thursday then. Now go away, I’m busy having a breakdown _and_ withdrawal!” He whined, beginning to button his shirt. 

-.-.-.-.-.-

Ancapistan was a beautiful yet hideous place, with skyscrapers kissing the clouds and factories billowing environmentally unfriendly smoke and suspicious chemicals being dumped in the river. There were well to do businesspeople mingling with the cripplingly poor. The pot holes were as numerous as the sidewalks were gold plated (and it cost $10 per 3 yards of walking on them.) The private police “forcibly moved” communists out of the land as architects started rolling up their blueprints of a new Ayn Rand statue to be built. 

The sun set and Ancap didn’t _really_ need his sunglasses anymore, but that didn’t deter him from keeping them on for the image. He sipped on a glass of water, anxiously checking the time.

“Hello darling, sorry I’m late.” Libertarian slid in the chair across Ancap. “You alright? You seem nervous.”

_Oh._ Ancap stopped bouncing his leg and shifted to a more relaxed position. 

“Never been better.” He snapped and a waiter filled the wine glasses on the table. Ancap observed his boyfriend. Libertarian nursed the tart red liquid, beginning to unwind and lounge around. 

Ancap cleared his throat. “So, I’ve been planning something. It’s very big. Bigger than selling McNukes to China, bigger than selling the launch codes to the US, even bigger than handing the actual keys to Russia!” 

He beckoned him closer, whispering, “I actually, for once in my life, cancelled all my meetings for this. I’m gonna make a music video.”

Libertarian’s brows furrowed. “Well. That’s an… interesting enterprise. And you cancelled your meetings… How exactly would this be profitable, sweetheart?”

Ancap smirked. “It’s not. It’s for the optics. The look. The opulence. You see babe, ever since I started this passion project, I’ve always known those statists would pass through our little home. So why not give them a show?” He leaned back in his chair, satisfied. 

Libertarian chuckled. “You certainly are an extravagant man,” he set his glass down and extended his hand. “It’s why I admire you so.” 

Ancap’s cheeks were a touch more pink than usual. He entwined his fingers with his lover’s. 

“You’re too kind. Besides, there’s still so much more I have to talk about. I actually-“

A faint buzzing was heard. Libertarian pulled out his phone with his free hand. 

“Hm. I suppose Hoppean has… oh.” Libertarian sighed, rolling his eyes. “He crashed his helicopter in my only house. At least the second one I’m building still hasn’t been affected.” He tentatively looked up at Ancap. “I hope I’m not overstepping anything, but would it be okay if I… spent the night? At your house? Normally I’d be at a hotel, but that’s still under construction…” 

_Oh dear. This suddenly has gotten more difficult._ Ancap silently cursed himself for not saying anything yet. On one hand, they would finally be going to the next phase of their relationship, but on the other hand… well. If Libertarian reacted badly to the secret… would he just kick him out? That’s a way to be inhospitable, but if he stayed overnight and hated him, it would be so awkward Ancap already wanted to bury himself alive just thinking about it. 

_Shit. Shit shit shit._

“Of course,” he put on his most flirtatious voice, “I can show you around as well. My treat. No contracts.” He winked. 

Libertarian raised his brow and grinned. “It’s getting rather dark. Should we leave?”

“Never thought you’d ask.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

His mind raced again, awful thoughts clashing with any possibility that Libertarian would react well to that dirty little secret of his. His driver rolled down the window and blew smoke out. His fingers were drumming on his thigh, a combination of being relatively sober and nervous. His other hand was draped across Libertarian’s shoulder. He felt his boyfriend lean closer, placing tender kisses on his cheek. 

Ancap giggled. “Babe, your mustache..” his tension eased slightly. _Maybe there’s a chance he won’t leave. But maybe.. maybe not. This can all go away in an instant._ Any small trace of a smile melted away. _He might be gone. He might hate my guts. He might never talk to me again. He’ll never—_

The car pulled into the garage and the driver opened Ancap’s door. 

“What should I show you first?” He slid his arm around his lover’s waist. 

“Well, it’s rather late, and I think it would be nice to lie down and…” Libertarian crooned. 

_Ah. I see what he’s getting at. Naughty boy._ Ancap slyly smiled at him. 

“We’d better be off then. The elevator takes.. some time.” He pushed the button. 

As soon as the doors closed behind them Libertarian pushed Ancap against the wall, pressing his lips on his boyfriend’s. Ancap broke away. 

“You short motherfucker. Are you on your toes?” Ancap smirked devilishly. 

Libertarian pouted. “You’re so rude, Cappie,” he pulled his boyfriend’s tie to his height. “I’ll wipe that grin off your face.” Libertarian kissed him once more. 

_Ding!_ They didn’t stop kissing as Ancap reached for his keys, nearly stumbling over each other. 

Ancap broke away, taking his lover by the hand. 

“Well, it’s not _as_ impressive as it should be, but I was going to add some more gaudy shit- oh. Maria.” He sighed. His maid and butler were still there. He shrugged his coat off, allowing his butler to take it. Libertarian followed suit. 

The short, stocky maid didn’t respond, reading a folded paper. “Sir, your drugs are coming in tomorrow. The… Neurocaine, MDMA, Adderall, _¡Ay Dios mío!_ I can barely read this one… testoster-“ 

_Fuck. Don’t panic don’t panic don’t panic don’t!_

“That will be enough! Thank you. Go home, Maria.” He snapped, his jaw tightened. His voice did not have the usual pretentious, easygoing tones. 

The poor woman faltered, grabbing her coat and nearly running out the door. Ancap scowled. He’d feel bad about it later, but if she wouldn’t have kept her mouth shut and waited his nerves wouldn’t have caught up to him. 

“Sir?”

“You too. Go away. Out.” He waved his hand towards the door.

There were a few moments of silence after he left. 

“Cappie?” Libertarian held his top hat and fidgeted with it timidly. “Was it a bad time?”

Ancap bit his lip, wondering if he’d scared the man. “It’s alright. It’s just you and me now.” 

He lifted Libertarian’s chin and pecked him on the cheek with a grin. 

“Still need a place to rest, you know. Come on!” 

“Wait a minute, love. Who is that?” Libertarian lifted a picture frame of a lanky, curly haired girl.

_That was me._

He snatched the frame. “Just one of my child brides. Of course.” Ancap placed the frame face down. 

Libertarian pressed his lips, unamused. “I suppose you don’t have any more surprises, do you?”

“Only good ones babe.” _Hopefully._

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Libertarian’s fingers ran through Ancap’s hair as his boyfriend unbuttoned his shirt, moving his lips to Libertarian’s neck. 

“Should I do the same for you, dear?” Libertarian whispered in his ear, undoing Ancap’s tie. 

Ancap paused, standing back. _Well shit. Here goes nothing._

“I got it. Uh… babe? So about the secrets I’ve got… it’s about my body, you might... you might not like it.”

“Don’t be silly, what can you possibly have?”

Ancap’s hands shook as he unbuttoned his shirt, peeling it off. There was none of his swagger or confidence. No playboy vibes. Just vulnerability. And they were visible. 

“Oh. You have…” Libertarian backed away. 

_I knew this would happen. I should’ve never given myself false hope. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone._

Libertarian reached his hand out, stepping closer. He traced his fingers over the pink scars on Ancap’s chest. 

They were both still silent. Libertarian slid off his boyfriend's glasses with shaky hands. A single tear fell from Ancap’s eye. He set the glasses aside, placing them on his nightstand. 

Libertarian cupped his face, and their lips met softly. In between breaths, he whispered, “I love you, I love you.”

“You weren’t going to just.. leave?” Ancap whimpered, wiping his tears away. 

Libertarian held him closer. “No. Is this why you were so nervous?”

Ancap scoffed. “No, I was more concerned you’d find out about my 6 child wives. Of course I was!”

They both laughed, Libertarian leading him to the bed and sitting. 

“Well, now I know your little secret, love. It’s safe with me. And…” he kissed Ancap’s cheek. “I think your scars are rather hot, actually.”

Ancap beamed, then slid his hand on Libertarian’s thigh. “Well, would you like to get to know the rest of me a little better?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_Fuck. It’s so bright. Wish I could pay the sun to stop shining for five fucking minutes._

Ancap opened one eye lazily, then the other. 

His boyfriend was draped across him, Libertarian’s head resting on his chest. 

He stroked his hair absentmindedly, admiring the man’s peaceful expression. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead. Had fun?”

Libertarian opened his eyes and grunted.

“An amazing conversation. Thank you.” Ancap rolled his eyes and giggled. 

“We have to get up, don’t we? Business calls.” Libertarian sighed, sitting up and searching for his boxers in the sea of clothes thrown about. 

Ancap pulled him back down. “No. Stay here for a bit.” 

Libertarian kissed his forehead. “Alright. Just us then.”

Ancap felt… content for once. It was just him and the man he loved so dearly. The best part? He loved him back, despite everything. 

_Maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing after all._

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, Author here. Sorry if my work is ass because I honestly haven’t written in years and I really am trying to get their personalities right. On a lighter note, hapy birthday @BASTARDLEFTIST on twitter dot com!! I hope you enjoy the release today and being old <3  
> Credit to u/clowntoddhoward (reddit)/@mothsprite (twt) for the one Child Bride (tm) headcanon :)
> 
> My twitter is @MewMewMadness, and so is my tumblr :)
> 
> Check out my other works if you liked this one <3


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